There has always been a concept floating around that women really like bad boy types. The sweet and kind nerdy guy usually gets overlooked for the rough and ready biker dude who treats her like crap. Not only that, the women make excuses for these bad guys and accept just about any bad behavior that the guy is willing to throw her way.
Is this a concept that is still valid? In many ways the answer is yes. But it is a contradiction to what women say that they want. They claim that they do not want to be attracted to the bad guy but the nice guy may seem to be too nice. It is not their fault, it is the women who don’t feel that they deserve to be treated well. It is a contradiction that many women don’t even understand fully themselves.
In the movie Crazy, Stupid, Love, Ryan Gosling’s character is a major player. He dictates the entire scenario and totally controls the conversation and what happens afterwards when he takes his prey home to act out his Dirty Dancing move. The women fly by and he is unmoved and unattached until Emma Stone is the one women who is not impressed by him at all. In fact, her heart belongs to a geek played by singer Josh Grobin.
When Grobin tells her he isn’t ready for their relationship to go further she is appalled and literally runs into the arms of Gosling. She doesn’t let him get away with anything and as it turns out, he becomes a good guy who finally finds real love.
The real issue is not that women still like bad boys, it is do you want a woman who doesn’t care how she is treated by a man? If you do then you are not looking for a solid relationship but are using this to serve your own needs sexually or because of control issues you may have. This is not a judgement call, it just means you are not ready to commit to a long lasting relationship. When you are ready you will know it.
If you are ready, and you are a nice guy, don’t be discouraged if you feel that a woman you are interested in is not giving you a second thought. Move on. The right woman will recognize you for your true traits and be attracted to you for all the right reasons. Because of the competition between women, many of them are willing to put up with more than they should because they don’t want to be alone.
If you are a nice guy, and you attract a woman who recognizes that, you will be entering into a relationship where two people can work as a team, each one recognizes and respects the strengths of the other, and each can complement the other’s weaknesses. It is how we learn from each other and grow. Don’t even try to aspire to be a bad boy to get the girl, be a real man so you can attract a real woman.